September 7, 2011

Divorce Advice: Spying on your Spouse

Filed under: Alimony/Maintenance,Divorce — Tags: , , — pkfamily @ 11:37 am

In general, I do not recommend spying on your spouse after you decide to get a divorce. If you find that your spouse is cheating, there are some remedies for you that are legal, but if you choose to do a little digging, read up on what is punishable under law. Under Illinois law, cheating is unlikely to affect child custody, alimony, the distribution of assets of civil status or higher. In most cases, the only thing you’ll get is grief.

If you think your spouse is spending family money on non-marital relationships, you (or your Divorce lawyer) can apply to the court a financial restraining order. This order prohibits your spouse from using family the money for non-marital relationships. The order is common in cases of divorce, and you do not prove adultery to get it.

Some situations warrant investigation
Although generally not recommended, there are some situations in which a little research can be useful if you suspect your spouse of cheating.

If you feel that your spouse has spent too much money, excessive for actual business expenses, on the family business in the past, you might want to do a little research. If you have sufficient evidence, you may be able to say that there have been cases were large amounts of  unauthorized business money have been used non-marital, non-business relationships. In a divorce, you could get that money that you’re entitled to as long as your partner does not lose money in the family business. Illinois law is unclear on what is considered a marital dispersion of funds. It’s not even clear on when it can happen. The court could rule in your favor or against you. Anyway, this kind of digging is only valid if the cost was extreme and actually emptied the bank account of the family.

Do not break the law

If you choose to spy on your spouse, you must take care not to break the law. Here are some things you should not do if you live in Chicago, Illinois:

  • Record your spouse’s phone calls
  • Open his / her mail without permission
  • Using his / her password to access his / her internet accounts (unless he / she gave you the password), and
  • Breaking into his / her office

Things that you could probably look for:

  • The family laptop or computer
  • Telephone messages on your phone or the family phone
  • Mail left open around the house
  • Financial documents at home
  • Most joint accounts (phone, credit cards, mortgages, etc…), and
  • Anything that is left out in the open

Conclusion: If you truly feel the need to spy, do not break the law. Additionally, if you do suspect your spouse of cheating, and would like some legal advice, please contact me, Patricia, and do the legal thing: contact a Divorce lawyer. Divorce may not be in the cards, but it is the legal way to go about getting information from your spouse before you end up breaking the law.

August 29, 2011

Separation & Divorce Part Two: Relocation Realities

Filed under: Child Custody,Divorce,Parenting and Divorce — Tags: , , , , , , — pkfamily @ 10:22 am

We talked briefly before about staying in constant contact with your ex in order to make relocation easier for your children. This continuation will give you some healthy tips and advice on how to do so without causing headaches all around.

School Issues

Sometimes the absent parent will have a harder time keeping up on their children’s schooling due to distance and lack of communication, but some schools are willing to provide email updates, and even have calendars and homework information via online portals that parents can access at will. Some teachers will even keep a stack of stamped envelopes to send a packet of items that have gone home with the children on a weekly basis. Some will do this for you, but others will not – asking questions is your greatest asset. Make sure you address other school issues such as homework and driving situations in your Child custody agreement.

Health Issues

Finding a doctor that both parents trust is essential, and keeping both parents involved in the health issues of the child via speakerphone or email can help ease the anxiety of separation during a time of illness. It is also important to find doctors who are willing, and legally able to communicate due to traveling issues. If your child is too sick to travel to the absent parent, it is essential that that parent be aware of the illness or notified immediately to stay in compliance with any child custody agreements. It should also be noted that some parents choose to have a doctor in each town for the child, in case of emergency.

General Communication

For the mental and physical health of your child, it is essential to keep in contact on a weekly or even daily basis via phone, text or email. Try to find a balance that fits your situation the best. Services such as www.ourfamilywizard.com offer an online way to structure communication exchanges, documents and a family calendar. If you are email savvy, create a ‘Mom/Dad’ email folder to collect emails and reduce issues of lost emails. Most of all, keep your children involved in the process. Let them choose what artwork or well-graded homework to send to the absent parent – these items, especially since they’re chosen by the child, will mean more and keep the family unit intact for the mental health of the child.

Here at PK Family Law, we take into account Child Mental Health issues when dealing with Divorce. In Illinois, and Lake County, we take pride in being one of the best Divorce Lawyers and Child Custody Attorneys in the Highland Park, Lake Forest and Deerfield areas. If you need advice on Child Custody, please give my office a call at 847.926.0973 or contact me through this website.

– Patricia Kalal, the Law Offices of Patricia A. Kalal

August 13, 2011

Protecting your Lifestyle Before and After your Divorce

Filed under: Alimony/Maintenance,Divorce — pkfamily @ 12:36 pm

Illinois Divorce Lawyer & Family Law Attorney

Divorce can be an emotionally stressful and challenging time.  Unfortunately, the experience can be made even more difficult when one spouse acts out to hurt their former partner by either emotionally hurting them, or hitting them where it hurts: the bank. This is a way to manipulate your financial resources in order to injure the your main means of support.  While the goal of all divorce cases should be to try to reach an equally beneficial resolution by minimizing the conflict, time, and money spent, it should be noted that through this, either party’s ability to support his or her lifestyle should not be compromised.

Maintenance, which was formerly known as alimony, is the payment of spousal support from one party to another during and after a divorce.  Illinois law provides that a spouse is entitled to receive maintenance in an amount necessary to maintain the marital standard of living as long as the other party can maintain that lifestyle and still meet his or her own needs.  Further, a spouse seeking maintenance is not required to sell assets in order to maintain the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage.

Many contested Illinois divorce cases involve the payor spouse attempting to minimize the amount of maintenance to be paid.  The spouse seeking maintenance then must be able to prove his or her reasonable needs, historical expenses, and any anticipated or projected costs.  To do this, it is important to maintain records to demonstrate and establish one’s lifestyle.

Because Illinois law views marriage as a partnership, courts consider spouses as co-equals, recognizing that homemaker services are as significant as financial contributions. While the amount of maintenance paid may depend upon various factors, including the party’s income, earning capacity, and standard of living, the court looks to the same factors in assessing the length of the maintenance to be paid, including contributions to the career of the other spouse and time absent from the workplace due to children or domestic responsibilities.

When making an assessment as to one’s entitlement to maintenance, it is important to consult with an experienced matrimonial attorney to obtain guidance on the point.  The following is a list of information that will a party prepare for the divorce process:

  • Be prepared to discuss expenses, lifestyle, health, contributions during the marriage, and any impediments to future employment.  Lifestyle factors include such things as money spent for the primary residence, clothing, club memberships, automobiles, jewelry, artwork, vacations, gifts, second homes and private school.
  • Gather tax returns, bank statements, cancelled checks, credit card statements, and any other financial records to demonstrate family income.
  • Begin to prepare a preliminary budget to share with your lawyer.  The more information you can provide to your lawyer, the better prepared he or she will be in trying to maintain your lifestyle.

These are some preliminary steps you can take to help your own case, but only through meeting with an experienced matrimonial law attorney can you gain information needed to understand your realistic prospects of sustaining your needs and maintaining your lifestyle after the divorce.

August 5, 2011

Parents can Strengthen Family Relationships, even during Divorce

Filed under: Child Custody,Divorce — Tags: , , , — pkfamily @ 11:50 am

Highland Park Divorce Lawyer

The word “divorce” does not conjure up positive thoughts of family wellness, but emotionally fit  parents can strengthen family relationships even during the legal process and later as a divorced family.  Typically, parents are so trapped in their own emotional chaos, not to mention the arduous divorce procedure, that they involve their children in the process without even knowing it. Commonly heard statements such as, “Your mother is a liar” or, “I can’t afford that because your father has not paid support this month,” are damaging to children. Equally damaging is the inability of a parent to manage his or her emotions. Being emotionally neutral about the issues in the divorce while in the presence of your children is the most difficult yet most critical skill a divorcing parent must have.

Fortunately, local resources are available to keep you and your family legally and mentally fit. One such resource is a parent-education program that teaches parents to deal with adult problems in ways that avoid harm to their children’s emotional well being. By learning the coping techniques to deal with the emotional impact early in the divorce process, a parent can be both more effective in coping and more easily available to their children.

The parent-education program is a legal requirement for all dissolution of marriage cases involving child custody in Illinois. While most of the topics taught in the program seem to be common sense, the underlying message of the class should not be overlooked.  That message is to find ways to make sure your child is not caught in the middle of the fighting and to stay healthy yourself.  By separating the divorce emotions from the rest of life, parties can be better parents to their children, focus on their professional life, continue to enjoy their personal interests and move forward in life. The laws of the state of Illinois will determine the legal outcome of the dissolution of your marriage, but by being informed and utilizing resources that enable you to be emotionally fit as a parent, you and your children will emerge from the process in the best situation possible.

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Patti Kalal, Family Law and Divorce Lawyer in Highland Park, IL

July 20, 2011

Separation & Your Children: Relocation Realities

Filed under: Child Custody,Divorce,Parenting and Divorce — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — pkfamily @ 11:50 am

Developing a long-distance parenting plan

by Leslie Ellen Shear

Parents who are considering moving with their children after separation or divorce, and parents deciding whether to oppose the children’s move have a lot to think about. Many of the same dilemmas arise when one parent moves away from the community in which the other parent lives with the children.

Coparenting well in the same community is challenging enough. Co-parenting across state lines presents far greater challenges and much fewer options. Family court judges and appellate courts describe moveaway cases as among the most difficult on their dockets. Although American Family courts are charged with creating parenting plans in the children’s best interest, moveaway cases typically focus on figuring out which plan is the lease detrimental alternative given the challenges of distance.

Each of the 50 states and various US territories has its own set of  child custody laws. While there are variations in moveaway law, each of those legal frameworks provides a structure for considering the same practical consequences of a move. The same considerations that go into parental decision making will usually be important to a child custody attorney and to a judge if the relocation request goes as far as a trial.

Legal Custody & Information Exchange

Your legal custody plan governs how you will share information, what information must be shared, and what decision making authority each parent has. When both parents are involved in the children’s daily care, each typically gets much of the important information about the children’s lives directly from observation and through direct contact with schools and other care providers. It takes much more effort to keep both parents informed and in the loop in a long distance situation.

Start collaborating before the move and research information about schools, child care, medical care, day camps and other activities children might be involved in. The early the information gathering happens, the easier the process and the smoother. For example, rather than saying, “I’m planning to send the children to Highland Park Elementary School, do you agree?”, start with, “I’ve found three schools in the Highland Park area that we might look into. Here’s the information for each. Have you come across others you’re interested in?”. This helps develop a healthy information exchange that better serves your children.

Stay tuned for more information on Parenting Schedules soon. I’ll be updating you with more advice, techniques and long-distance parenting soon!

~ Patti Kalal, Family Law & Divorce Attorney

You can find me on Twitter and Facebook too!

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June 20, 2011

A Question of Child Custody and Paternity: The Schwarzenegger Case

Filed under: Child Custody,Divorce,Parenting and Divorce,Social Media — Tags: , , , , , , , , — pkfamily @ 10:07 am

Highland Park Child Custody Attorney, Patti Kalal sounds off on Schwarzenegger/Shriver Child Custody and Divorce Case.

Recently, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced they were separating after 25 years of marriage, according to several media news outlets. Their announcement was soon followed by a public confession by Schwarzenegger that he had fathered a child with a former staff member over 10 years ago.

Several questions have been raised, including whether the couple will divorce and whether a pre-nup agreement was signed. One of the biggest questions that have arisen is the question of the child’s paternity. The husband (who is estranged at the moment) of the woman who has been identified as the mother of Schwarzenegger’s alleged son has said he only learned recently that he was not the biological father of wife’s son. Many news outlets, including The Huffington Post have reported that a DNA test was performed secretly a decade ago to determine whether Schwarzenegger was the child’s father. Official details have not been released. It appears that this is going to be a complicated and rather messy divorce and paternity case in California.

Likewise, paternity cases in Illinois can be complicated and raise many sensitive and delicate issues. Determining a child’s biological father is beneficial when determining child custody, visitation rights, child custody payments, and other custody-related issues. The Illinois courts take several factors into consideration when identifying a child’s biological father, including whether a paternity acknowledgment has been signed and whether the child’s mother and the possible father are or were married at the time of the child’s birth. Disputes regarding paternity can become stressful and emotionally charged for all parties involved, which is why seeking a consultation with a highly skilled attorney with experience handling paternity cases is advised.

At The Law Offices of Patricia A. Kalal, our Child Custody Attorney can help you understand the legal options available to you if you are involved in a paternity dispute in Illinois. We will work diligently to ensure that the proper party is granted paternal rights. To learn more about how our Family Law attorneys can help you with your paternity dispute, please call 847.926.0973 today.

June 16, 2011

Illinois Military Divorce: A Brief Overview

Filed under: Divorce,Military Divorce — Tags: , , , , , , , — pkfamily @ 2:03 pm

Military divorce is truly its own breed of divorce law.  There are many factors that average divorce lawyers are not equipped to handle, for example effectuating proper service of process, calculating child support correctly or making sure that equitable distribution of assets is properly handled. Our law firm has the experience and expertise needed to successfully navigate military divorces in the State of Illinois. If you have served this country in the Armed Forces or have been married to someone who has served, there are some things you may need to be aware of if you are seeking or planning to start the divorce process. People who have served our country in the services such as the military have some legal protection against divorce actions. Here’s a brief overview of how Illinois Military Divorce laws work.

An Illinois Military Divorce creates several unique problems as compared to a typical civilian divorce case. Each state has adopted their own specific laws and rules applying to military divorce as well. There are laws in place to protect active duty military members from being penalized for failing to respond to divorce actions against them. These laws were enacted to protect those in the military from being divorced without knowing it while overseas or elsewhere.

The Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act, 50 UCS section 521

This Act, and at the discretion of the Illinois court systems, a divorce proceeding can be postponed for the entirety of the active military member’s duty and up to 60 days afterwards. This is typical when an active member of the military is serving in a war. Alternatively, this right to postponing proceedings can be waived by the military member should they wish to get the divorce under way.

Serving a Military Spouse with Divorce Papers

The active duty spouse of a military member must be personally served with a summons and a copy of the divorce action in order for the courts in Illinois to have jurisdiction over the active military person. If the active duty spouse signs and files a waiver affidavit acknowledging the divorce action, they may not have to be served in an uncontested case.

Residency and Filing Requirements

As all state laws are different, this applies to Illinois alone. There are several residency requirements when it comes to filing for divorce from active military members. They are as follows:

  • You or your spouse need to live in Illinois
  • You or your spouse must be stationed in the state of Illinois

Grounds for Illinois Military Divorce

The grounds for military divorce in Illinois are the same as a civilian divorce anywhere.

Dividing of Property

Abiding by normal Illinois property division laws, the Federal Government enacted the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA) that governs how military retirement benefits are calculated and divided upon divorce. The USFSPA is the body that will or will not authorize the direct payment of portions of military retirees pay to a former spouse. The federal laws will not divide or distribute any military member’s retirement to the spouse unless they were married 10 years or longer while the member was in active military duty.

Child Support and Spousal Support

Both Child Support and Alimony awards may not exceed 60% of the military member’s pay and allowances in the State of Illinois. The normal Illinois Child Support guidelines, worksheets and schedules can be used to determine the proper amount of support, child or spousal, to be paid.

When it comes to pensions and retirements, you need to keep in mind that it is not always easy to obtain records from the military. You will need to have an experienced lawyer to help you be sure that you get what you are entitled to or protect what’s yours. For these reasons it’s important to have an experienced divorce lawyer on your side.

If you are in need of a Divorce Attorney that specializes in Illinois Military Divorce, please give me a call or email me for further information and to see if the Law Offices of Patricia A. Kalal can assist you with your Military Divorce.

May 6, 2011

The Realities of Social Media and your Divorce

Filed under: Child Custody,Divorce — Tags: , , , , , , — pkfamily @ 12:43 pm

Highland Park Divorce Attorney

There are some sobering statistics for people embroiled in Family Law matters who aren’t careful about their social media presence. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, online posts (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) can be introduced and have been used against people in about 80% of all divorce cases in the last 5 years.

I should mention the growing presence of Facebook and other social media tools because there is a growing concern that your social media presence could come with serious consequences for you if you’re involved in a child custody battle or other legal disputes.

The problem is that Social Media users believe that their information is private and not real evidence, when in fact, most users simply do not understand or believe that there is NO clear border between how they portray themselves in public as opposed to what they show online. Most people believe they’ve got a handle and are in control of their posts and images when in reality, that is far from the truth.

This brings devastating results for some people. A Domestic relations counselor said this, “I saw an image of a toddler in front of a coffee table with bags of marijuana, alcohol and a pile of money on it.” In that case, child protective services were called and the child was removed from the home.

Apart from divorce and family law issues, a Georgia teacher was forced to resign her teaching position because school authorities saw a Facebook photo of her enjoying a fruity drink on vacation. This doesn’t seem fair, but in the eyes of the law, social media posts are real evidence.

The point to be made here, especially those who are thinking about divorce, involved in child custody battles or any other legal matter is this: If you write on Facebook or Twitter, or upload questionable images, these WILL be used against you in a court of law; even if you’re a good parent.

If you’d like to follow me on my own Social Media sites, please like my Facebook page and Twitter!

– Patti Kalal, Family Law Attorney at The Law Offices of Patricia A. Kalal

Highland Park Divorce Attorney, Deerfield Divorce Attorney and Lake County Divorce Lawyer

Visit my Highland Park Divorce Attorney Profile on Google maps!

May 5, 2011

Military Divorces

Filed under: Divorce — Tags: , , , , — pkfamily @ 11:42 am

Military divorces have their own special set of rules that can best be navigated by an experienced Military Law Attorney. Patricia Kalal has been handling military divorces for over ten years and has attended seminars specifically dealing with military divorces. Our offices proximity to the base at Great Lakes provides us with many retired and active duty service members as current and former clients.

Our office is experienced in dealing with SBP, Tricare and the 20/20/20 rule as well as other aspects of military divorces. Many of our clients are in retired pay status which presents its own share of issues and rules. If you or your spouse is currently in the military or retired from the military and you are contemplating divorce, you need to contact the Law Offices of Patricia Kalal.

– Attorney Patricia A. Kalal, The Law Offices of Patricia A. Kalal

www.pkfamilylaw.com

Military Divorce Attorney in Illinois

April 14, 2011

Should your adolescent have a say?

Filed under: Divorce,Parenting and Divorce — Tags: , , , , , — pkfamily @ 1:09 pm

When the parents of teens choose to divorce, they and their lawyers/courts will generally want to consider the children’s preferences regarding who they live with and how much time they will spend with a certain parent. In addition to this, teens and adolescents do want to have their preferences known and feel better knowing their opinions were considered.

As a result of extensive research on adolescent decision-making, it is now known how much they think about these subjects and how capable teens are at making difficult decisions. It begins with your parenting style.

The Permissive Parent

The permissive parent is one that is accepting, affirming and encouraging of their children’s desires and actions: they consult with their children about decisions and family rules, they let their children regulate themselves and avoid taking control typically.

Teens and children raised in this type of environment are at risk for disrespecting authority and are more likely to break rules. There is also an increased likelihood of childhood experimentation with drugs, alcohol or other delinquencies such as disengagement from schooling and good influences. In a separate study, anxiety and depression were higher among teens with un-authoritative parents.

The Authoritarian Parent

This parenting style attempts to shape, control and evaluate the behavior of a child in accordance with strict standards and attitudes of behavior. These types of parents value obedience and attempt to alter the child’s self-will to the point that they don’t disagree with the parent at all.

Children of these types of parents have extreme difficulty in establishing independence or making their own decisions. Since their parents have controlled their actions and activities, there was no development of reasoning abilities.

The Authoritative Parent

This type of parent directs their child’s actions, but does so with a rational mindset. There is the give and take of verbal encouragement, sharing, and reasoning behind right and wrong. The child develops individual interests and perspectives of their own and is able to affirm themselves and their decisions.

These children are the most likely to thrive in their adult lives and make decisions for themselves when presented with difficult subjects such as the matter of divorce.

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Considering your teen’s preferences is difficult because adolescence can be somewhat of a moving target. There is rapid development and experimentation as your child learns and matures. Understanding how your teen makes decisions is very important when you’re going through a divorce or other family legal matter.

If you’re considering a divorce and are in need of a Family Law Attorney, call Patricia Kalal, Attorney at Law at 847.926.0973 to schedule an initial consultation.

Copyright 2010© by the American Bar Association. Reprinted with permission. This information or any or portion thereof may not be copied or disseminated in any form or by any means or stored in an electronic database or retrieval system without the express written consent of the American Bar Association.
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